New Year, Same Yoga Pants: 20 Funny (and Mostly Unrealistic) Goals for Stay-at-Home Moms

"New Year, Same Yoga Pants: 20 Funny (and Mostly Unrealistic) Goals for Stay-at-Home Moms"

Shave both legs on the same day.

Bonus points if it’s not because you're going to a doctor appointment.

Drink a cup of coffee while it's still hot.

At least once. Just once. Please.

Stop hiding snacks from your kids… or at least find better hiding spots.

(Pro tip: The laundry basket is still undefeated.)

Go to the bathroom without a tiny audience or someone yelling through the door.

Fold the laundry the same day you wash it.

Okay, fine. Within the same week.

Put away the laundry instead of just fishing clothes out of the basket for 3 days straight.

Meal prep like Pinterest… for one whole day before going back to frozen chicken nuggets and “snack lunches.”

Learn how to make a homemade sourdough starter… and then forget about it in the back of the fridge.

Create a chore chart that works for longer than 2 days.

Or just keep yelling “This house is NOT A BARN!” and hope for the best.

Stop calling every adult you see “Mom” out of habit.

Oops. Sorry, Target cashier.

Make it to bedtime without muttering “I just need five minutes” under your breath like a woman on the brink.

Be on time. To anything. Ever.

(This one's just for fun. We all know it’s not happening.)

Actually do the self-care you keep saying you “need to do more of.”

Face mask counts even if you're wearing it while scrubbing the bathtub.

Wear jeans. With a zipper. For no reason.

(Who are you trying to impress? The Amazon guy?)

Stop saying “Yes” to things that will make you want to cry later.

Looking at you, last-minute bake sale sign-up.

Organize the playroom. Again. For the 384th time.

Enjoy the 12 minutes it stays that way.

Read a book with no cartoon characters, no animals who learn a lesson, and no sing-along QR code.

Finally throw out the sippy cups that leak, the socks with no matches, and that one weird toy that never shuts off.

Set boundaries. Like not responding to “MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM” while you’re on the toilet.

Give yourself more grace, more chocolate, and fewer guilt trips.

Because you’re doing way better than you think.

These may not all happen… okay, let’s be honest, most won’t. But try laughing through it! That’s definitely a goal worth keeping.

Happy New Year, mamas! May your coffee be hot, your kids be semi-reasonable, and your yoga pants stay stretchy. 💪😄