👻🎃 Surviving the Week of Halloween: A Memoir by a Tired Mom

Spoiler: I’m still alive, but my sanity isn’t.

Dear Diary,
It’s October 27th. Halloween is Friday. I am not okay.

This is the week moms everywhere go from “fall vibes” to “full throttle, costume-gluing, snack-bagging, schedule-juggling chaos goblins.” There’s no going back now. The spirit of Halloween has officially possessed the children—and possibly my crockpot.

Here’s a dramatic reenactment of what this week looks like for most moms. Proceed with snacks.

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🎭 Monday: Spirit Week Begins

Let’s start off strong with “Dress Like a Book Character Day,” where your child tells you at 7:12 AM that they need to be Hermione Granger but not from the movies—only from the books.

You scramble for anything remotely wizard-like. She ends up going to school in your old graduation robe, holding a chopstick wand, and yelling “Alohomora!” at the minivan.

You, meanwhile, have already forgotten to thaw the meat for dinner.

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🧟‍♀️ Tuesday: The Costume Crisis

Your child suddenly hates the costume they BEGGED for three weeks ago.

“It’s itchy.”
“It’s too baby-ish.”
“I saw another kid with a better one.”
“I want to be a haunted Minecraft llama now.”

So now you're either speed-ordering something questionable from Amazon or dusting off your Pinterest login to craft a DIY nightmare you swore you'd never attempt again. (RIP 2021's toilet paper mummy.)

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🍬 Wednesday: Sugar Everywhere, Sanity Nowhere

There’s a “Harvest Fun Snack Hour” at school. You sign up for grapes and end up peeling 60 of them at 11:30 p.m. so they resemble “eyeballs,” because you’ve apparently lost all grip on reality and boundaries.

You also find mini Snickers wrappers in your bra. This is not a metaphor. This is your life now.

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🎃 Thursday: School Parade and Partypalooza

You’re required to:

• Dress your child in costume (again)

• Bring a treat (nut-free, gluten-free, spooky-themed)

• Attend the class party (smiling and not in sweatpants)

• Pretend to enjoy lukewarm juice boxes and 24 kindergartners screaming in polyester

You now fully understand why teachers drink hot coffee through steel mugs. Heroes. Every last one.

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🧛‍♂️ Friday: HALLOWEEN... AKA THE FINALE

It's here. The Super Bowl of Parenting.

By 4 PM, your kids are in full costume, full chaos mode, and already eating candy from the “DO NOT EAT THIS YET” bowl. You chase them down the street for group photos. No one smiles. Someone is crying. It’s probably you.

By 9 PM, your feet hurt, your jacket smells like smoke from someone’s driveway firepit, and you’ve confiscated 147 pieces of candy for “inspection.”

You eat 8 Reese’s Cups in the pantry. Alone. In silence.
It is sacred. Do not feel shame.

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☠️ Saturday: The Candy Hangover

Your child wakes up at 6:14 AM asking for Skittles for breakfast.

Your spouse has magically vanished from parenting duties.
The living room looks like a Halloween tornado passed through.
You Google “how to detox a child from sugar” and consider moving to a Halloween-free country.

Thoughts from a Mom in Recovery:

To all the moms out there holding it together with Target bags, coffee, and double-sided costume tape:
You survived.

You didn’t sign up for every party.
You didn’t bake from scratch (because you’re smart).
You maybe lost your cool once or twice, but you never lost your kids. So that’s a win.

Halloween is messy, chaotic, and loud—but also kind of magical. Your kids won’t remember your stress. They’ll remember the twinkly lights, the giggles with friends, and the way their mom made it all happen.

Even if she was silently sobbing into a wine glass shaped like a pumpkin.

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🧡 Now go treat yourself to a nap... or a fun-sized Snickers... or BOTH.

You've earned it, Mama.